Composed by Keith Carey-Smith (Pridham 1957-60) whilst still at school, for circulation amongst family and family friends. The content was therefore slightly dramatised, and ‘sanitised’ for home consumption! Minor editing and additions in 2020.
Original illustrations by Dr Eric Bird; photos by Keith.
Newcomer
“Well dear, I’ll have to kiss goodbye, but don’t forget to write every week. Are you sure I’ve given you enough to eat. Oh, and don’t forget to change your underclothes twice a week!”
“Yes Mum, I’m quite alright. Goodbye…….See you at Easter.”
The last reminder of home disappears round the corner, and there you are, standing on the unfamiliar Pridham house steps, surrounded by luggage.
“You there – what’s your name?”
“Jim Jones….what’s yours?”
“Mind your own business. He needs pulling down a bit, eh Bill. Come here Jones – here’s a reminder to watch your manners……………Okay, you can go now!”
So off to the dorm you limp with your bags. On the way:
“Hey you, what’s in that tin? I’m hungry....Hey you chaps, here’s a hand-out….M’mm - these are very nice!”
After depositing a near-empty biscuit tin in your locker you enter the dorm, to find about four boys sitting gloomily
on their beds. You soon discover that they’re new too, and exchange experiences.
A loud roar of “Third former!” wafts up from the common-room; and then after a few minutes: “Didn’t you hear me call. I shouldn’t have to come up here. You Jones, get 1d worth of chews from the tuckshop.”
“Okay, I suppose so”, you reply. Thinking of your tender seat: “Where is the tuckshop.”
“Find out from someone – but don’t be long.” Downstairs you ask for directions – “Oh, round there.” Going ‘round there’, you find yourself in the lavatory block. Correctly deducing, you go in the opposite direction and find the queue. After a while, a large boy pushes in, but you know now that is advisable to keep quiet.
Returning to the common room, you nervously open the door, to be met by a blast of: “Get out and knock!” On entering you find yourself suddenly the centre of attention, and are asked embarrassing questions such as “What’s my name?”, and “What ‘hole’ do you come from?”, or “Name the first fifteen.” Various discomfitures usually result, and you leave in an undignified manner, resolving to rapidly learn a few things.
Soon a bell rings; one of the many thousands you are to hear in the next few years.
“What bell’s that?” you ask. “Second bell.” You’re none the wiser but you run with the mob towards what you find is the dining hall. You just manage to get through the closing doors.
Everyone goes to a table so you find the nearest place, but someone claims it. You try again, with the same success, so you join a group of small boys in the middle and eventually a place is found for you. You find yourself next to the chap you met in the dorm, and soon make friends with him, and with others on the table. The art of packing up is soon mastered, and after the meal you explore the grounds a bit. You soon learn to keep out of earshot of the common-room.
Later in the evening, after prayers, a ferocious looking master tells you dozens of rules, very few of which you remember; and all of which seem unnecessary. Then off to the dorm, and a lot more rules. At last the lights are turned out, and you have time to meditate on what a terrible place you have come to, and how you wish you were at home. However, sleep drowns all sorrows – tomorrow’s cold shower is still in store for you!!